Shades of Darkness
A Micro Fiction Story
Katherine Rochholz
All Rights Reserved Copyright
2019
As
a child I was afraid of the dark. The monster that would come and hurt me. The
monster that left scars and bruises. The monster that I called father. As a
child I felt if darkness never came then the monster would never come. I kept
flashlights, nightlights, glow in the dark stickers, anything to chase away the
darkness.
But
the darkness always came…
As
a teen I left the house to avoid the lighted darkness. I sought pure darkness
instead. Lighted darkness, where the light from the moon, the street lamp, the
hallway light, brightens the room just enough to see every shadow, every fear
as they come to life. So, I sought the darkness, for if I was going to be in
pain, if I was going to have to deal with the monster, if I was going to have
to live in the darkness I was going to not see it coming. I used everything and
anything seeking the comfort of black…
But
the lighted darkness always came…
As
an adult I push my fear away. But there still is always a light on. Always. Now
instead of trying to not see the monsters come, I want to see them, so I can
face them. So I can destroy them, one by one. I couldn’t stay in pure darkness
for my own sanity and quality of life. I can’t stand the lighted darkness, as I
fear the darkness and the unknown. So instead I live in muted darkness, an
internal darkness, where instead of truly facing my fear of the dark, I leave a
light on and let it eat at my soul. I run from the darkness…
But
the shades of darkness always come…
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