Clownpocalypse: Halloween

Clownpocalypse: Halloween

Katherine Rochholz

All Rights Reserved

            Jimmy smirked as his baseball bat made contact with another head as he walked through an abandoned sports store. He was on the hunt for batteries, sunglasses, Golf clubs, bullets, all the normal zombie clown hunting stuff. He laughed out loud. “Oh, God, Zombie Fucking Clowns.” He laughed as he grabbed a gun bag and a golf club bag. “That is great!” His phone started to ring. Unknown Number. He frowned. “Black Hawk County Morgue! They dead, we freeze ‘em!”

            Bobby snorted his drink through his nose. “My phone is dead jackass. That was premium caffeine goodness you just made me snort through my nose. I have to charge it. I am at a gas station at the border.  Happy Halloween fucker.”

            Jimmy laughed. “Hey bro! Look I am stocking up. I found me a sweet truck. You aren’t in that beater are you?”

            “Hell no. I lived in the city of angels. I killed my neighbor and took his sweet ass truck. I hit a few stores between there and the border. How you doing?”

            “Was your neighbor a clown Bobby?”

            “He was a damn clown before the damn make up, but yeah, he was dressed like one so he got killed like one.” Bobby smirked. “He was on my list anyways. You know the list where don’t matter if you a zombie or not but in the zombie apocalypse you are dying?”

            Jimmy laughed as he took a golf club to a zombie clown in the parking lot as he threw his first load in the back of his truck. “You know Bobby how you fit in that artist scene out in LA I don’t know.”

            “Eccentric was good. And I mostly hung around the tattoo parlors and drew them some original designs.” Bobby stated as he pointed his gun at a zombie clown about fifty feet away and pulled the trigger; the brains splattered across a rock poster and the thing fell dead.

            “Hey! Did you loot any famous people’s houses? I looked for some in NYC but their apartments were hard to break into so I only got a few things.” Jimmy ripped open a headset for his phone. “Just a sec bro!” He synced them up and added a few more to his car ripping a couple open to charge on his new multiport charger. “Go for wireless!” He stated as he took a golf club and went and killed a few of the leeches of society.

            Bobby rolled his eyes. “Stay safe princess.” Bobby growled.

            Jimmy laughed. “You too cupcake!” With that Jimmy ended the call. Jimmy looked at the group of zombie clowns and ran back into the sporting store and grabbed another bag of stuff and stuff to make his own bullets and jumped into his kick ass truck.

            Jimmy was driving along playing is music and “FIFTY POINTS! Half a Zombie!” He yelled into the phone connected to the counsel.

            “Damn it Jimmy!” Came the voice on the other end. “Did you have to yell that?”

            “You are the one that said to stay on the line Kitty!”

            “Do not call me Kitty!” Came a yell.

            “But Kitty, you were almost my sister!”

            “My name is Katrina! Not Kitty! And it isn’t my fault your brother took off to LA and now we are one of three damn people we know alive!”

            “He took off because he caught you in bed with his former best friend.”

            “We were dressed!”

            “Well, that former best friend said stuff happened. And he knew about your birth mark on your inner thigh.”

            Kitty cursed. “That is why he just packed and left claiming that he needed to get away from us.”

            “Yeah.” Jimmy stated. “You are on the way to home right?”

            “Yeah. You and Bobby are, and really I would rather be with you two. I was down in Dallas so chances are I might meet up with Bobby.”

            “Hope so Kitty. Will allow you two to work things out.”

            “Yes this bloody Clownpocalypse is perfect for me and Bobby to get back together, get married and have little babies.” Kitty stated; Jimmy could hear the sarcasm dripping from her lips.

            “Hey it could be worse. You know Bobby still loves you.” Jimmy stated as he smirked. “Look! It says town trick or treating! Time to film!” Jimmy stated as he took the exit toward the town.

            Kitty sighed. “Send me footage. I am hanging up. I see a gas station.”

            “Stay safe my sista from another mista!” Jimmy stated and ended the call. He pulled to a stop. He smirked as he laid and waited. He knew this town. The Halloween town here came alive exactly at dusk. It would bring the clown zombies and he would have some fun.

            Bobby sighed as he kept driving. He looked at his phone and at Katrina’s number. He wanted to call, but he was afraid of no answer. He was afraid she would be dead. He stopped at a mall. He saw the sporting goods store. He took his AR, a couple of hand guns, a knife and his baseball bat. He opened his car door and looked around. He had to get a few things. He put his phone on high and stuck it in his shirt pocket. Time to go shopping. He walked into the mall. It was decorated for Halloween. Oh that is right tonight was Halloween. He kept an eye on his surroundings. Ready to Nope Out if he needed to do so; he saw a hat shop. He looked around and grabbed a cart. A few hats never went amiss when dealing with the sun. He thought. He picked up all the ones of his favorite teams as well as Jimmy’s and Katrina’s. That got him to pause for a moment. Katrina had to be alive. She had to be. And when he was on the road again he would call her. He had to know. He after all loved her. He moved down the mall towards the sporting goods store. He stopped at the jewelry store. He looked at them and broke the glass taking the ring that once upon a time Katrina had showed him. He checked the size and smiled. He grabbed a few other things and made his way to the sports store. He didn’t let his guard down. It was too easy. But he slowly and steadily made trips to his truck.

            Jimmy was waiting and then he saw the lights come on and the music start. He got out of his truck with a couple of guns and his baseball bat. Soon he saw all the zombie clowns coming toward the noise! He smiled. “Batter Up!” He yelled. He saw all the clown zombie princesses and super heroes and parents all like clowns, even a zombie clown gorilla! He stood in the middle and took shots and swung his bat. He was having a grand ole time this Halloween! “Trick or Treat! Sorry but now Jimmy Treat for you!” He stated as he took the baseball bat to the head of a parent who had been dragging the zombie Thor and a zombie Loki. He didn’t play with the children. He put them out of their undead existence really quickly. Even if he knew the soul and the personality of the child had already been killed at that first bite. He stayed around for a bit until the zombie clowns were few and far between. He moved and took off his go camera and went and shut off the camera he started on the car. He turned out his laptop and sent them to Bobby and Kitty. After all one of the best things about a Clownpocalypse was the fact nobody was around to shut of the internet or power! YAY! No more bills! He moved to the back of his truck and grabbed some clean clothes and then went into a house making sure it was empty then cleaned up. He was on the road again just a couple hours after his baseball practice using zombie clown heads had started. He smirked. He called his brother.

            Bobby’s phone rang just as he loaded up the last load. “Zombie Killer’s R Us.” He answered.

            “Hey cupcake! I sent you a video!”

            “I saw the email, princess. I will play it when I am on the road again.”

            “Great! I just wanted to let you know I am good! No bites! And I will probably drive for a few hours before pulling off and sleeping.

            “Good. Talk to you later.” Bobby hung up. He moved back towards the mall. Just as he did he turned and saw them. Coming from behind the back. Zombie Clown trick or treaters! He ran back to his car. He put on a go camera on his dash. “How many points are the whole ones?” He yelled as he gunned the engine and mowed down the zombie clown trick or treaters. He didn’t play with them like his brother did. But he would be damned if he let them still exist. His luck soon there would be “Clown Zombie Ethical Treatment” groups. CZET! Ha! Sounded like a someone couldn’t spell Chet! He left a trail of blood and looked to the email. He saw Katrina’s email. He smiled, so she was alive. That was wonderful. He picked up his phone and dialed the number. He held his breath until her voice came on the line. “Katrina…” He whispered.