Here I am stuck between worlds, watching the person I am assigned to, and wondering why I ever did what I did. What did I do? I killed myself. I broke up with someone I had loved, well he dumped me. I felt like I could not live without out so, I was tempted by the razor in my shaver. The next thing I really remember is waking up in front of a dark figure. He told me I would have a chance to redeem my soul. I had taken my life because of love. So love must save my soul. I would be given a person, who was on the same path as I was, and I was to save him. I must show him life is better, to find him his soul mate. Only when he said “I love you” to a person and he really means it, will I be released from my punishment.
Meet my ward so to say, his name is Adam, and he ran again from another relationship. The man is hot, he has bright blue eyes, and unruly black curly hair, and he works out, and you can tell. And the trouble is he knows it. He is also very rich, so he is under the impression that people only love him for his money. Not his mind and quirky ways. Like being a gamer. Or the fact that his sense of humor can be dark. He really is a nice guy. He donates to a lot of children charities; he spends his time with children who have nothing. He gives out scholarships; he is truly a good person. I wish I had met someone like him when I was alive; he is a perfect man, money or no. You should have seen his face when I was dumped in the middle of his apartment. It was classic, but after about ten shots and a lot of explaining he seemed okay with it, well he was going to deal with it. Of course I was also dumped quite nude into his place, so we had to find me some clothes. Thankfully I could put clothes on! I was nude because I had died that way. If I knew that was going to happen I would have wore that tiny black dress I had made just a few weeks before I died. My sister wears that dress now, all the time. He is the only person that can see me, and that sometimes upsets me. I wish I could tell my family I am sorry. Sorry for what I put them though, what they will always have to live with. I wish I could tell them that it wasn’t something they did, it was me, and I knew how to hide my depression. And how abusive my relationship was, but my focus is now on Adam. I have been in this limbo land for three years now, and he has still yet to mature enough to say I love you to anybody.
Thankfully I don’t have a time limit I have until he dies, if he dies without saying those words then I fail, I will be stuck in limbo forever. So it is not like I am not trying! I have talked him into plenty of relationships, however he always runs when he feels like he might be falling in love! I am about to strangle him, and now he hasn’t been on a date in over a year. He says why should he go out when he has me at home. I just roll my eyes and keep reminding him that I am dead. He always reminds me that it is a pity that another man drove me to take myself from the world. He thought I was quiet interesting, and much better companion then the women I kept telling him to ask out.
One day I was sitting there filling my nails, or pretending to, so I could pass the time, as I can’t really file them. I was waiting for him to come home from his job, which was being a big shot investment manager on Wall Street; I figured with a new bar opening up I can find someone else to set him up with tonight. As soon as he walked through the door I knew we were going to be fighting again.
“Adam, I told you we are going out tonight.” I stated standing up, I was wearing a cute little outfit I had made from some fabric he had bought me.
“I don’t want to go out to find my so called ‘soul mate’!” He stated making the quotation marks with his fingers.
“You don’t know what will happen if you don’t.” I stated and went to his bedroom and started picking out clothes for the club tonight.
“You keep saying that, like it is some horrible thing that will happen if I don’t find someone to say ‘I love you’ to.” He stated following me.
I sighed. I couldn’t tell him what happens to me if I fail; it is in the bloody rule book. “I told you I can’t tell you some things, but you could end up going down the same path as I did. I don’t want to see that!” I yelled back at him.
“Why?” He asked grabbing my wrist and pulling me away from the closet.
I flinched; remember my last boyfriend, and the violence I endured. I pulled my arm away, and he let go right away. I just glared at him as he sputtered his apologies. “It is fine.”
“No it is not, I never should have touched you that way.” He stated, as I started to walk away he pulled me back to him, holding me in his arms. “I should not have touched you that way! Look at me!” He said as I looked down at his chest.
“It is fine let’s just concentrate on you! You have a chance in this world, I don’t anymore, and I took that chance away from myself. I won’t take it away from you!”
“Why?”
“Why, what?”
“Why don’t you want that for me? Is it just to save yourself?”
I looked up at him appalled at his question. “NO! I truly care for you. I love you; you don’t deserve what happens when people like me do what I did! I don’t want that for you!”
He just smirked and bent down and kissed me. It seemed like time stopped. “I love you.” He whispered against my lips, kissing me before I could respond.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw the being that had met me at my death. He smiled. He waved his hand and the next thing I know my heart was beating, and I could feel myself coming back to life. There was a large burst of light and a voice. “Don’t make me regret giving you a second chance at life.”
I smiled and knew that this time around I wasn’t going to make my same mistakes. Adam smiled at me, and I at him. “I get a second chance.”
“Good, then it won’t look so weird when I marry you.” Adam stated and then kissed me again. And everything, for once, was right in the world. Even if for just that moment in time. After all life is made up of little moments that define us, make a life or even take a life. But sometimes you get a second chance.
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